Home of the Dragon Scorecard: Issues Might Be Going Higher

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The Home of the Dragon Scorecard is an accounting of the occasions of this week’s episode, “Tumbleton,” by which factors are awarded to characters on a scale of 0 to 10. Factors can be awarded for any or no cause.

We’ve reached the midway level of the third season, and a lot of issues are coming into focus. Rhaenyra acquired what she wished and sits on the Iron Throne, however remains to be inexperienced sufficient at ruling that she’s making sloppy errors. There’s a enjoyable new villain on the town, Ormund Hightower, a pompous prick with a delicate nostril and a secret prince he’s hiding away. Daemon remains to be doing Daemon issues, this time involving a disembodied charbroiled head he’s making an attempt to cross off because the individual accountable for one other prince’s demise.

All of which suggests the stage seems to be set for… one thing. Loads of plates are spinning, man. Rhaenryra’s going to search out out it was Rhaena on Sheepstealer and that Daemon lied to her about it. Alys the Witch is as much as one thing. Helaena is perhaps pregnant. Ulf came upon he can’t go to taverns anymore and it’s ruining his total life. Everybody on this present is a bit of incompetent in their very own particular manner and it’s form of enjoyable to attempt to determine whose flaws are going to eat them alive first. It’s much more enjoyable when that individual has a dragon.

Let’s get to the factors.

Rhaenyra’s crash course on the distinction between “desirous to be queen” and “making an attempt to rule a kingdom” continues apace. She’s already spending form of plenty of time sighing and gazing longingly on the mannequin metropolis her father died dreaming about, which may’t be an amazing signal. One of many members of her council stop and left city on a horse. Her two most trusted advisors can’t cease snipping at one another. One in every of them introduced her a flambeed cranium and plopped it on the convention desk. It could possibly be going higher.

There’s additionally the factor the place, amid the entire small and huge frustrations, folks on the town did some graffiti about her and she or he reacted by sending armed guards into the streets to tear aside some properties and bash some teenagers within the head in entrance of their pals and family members. Actually undoing that goodwill she constructed up mighty quick.

Two nice faces this week from Alicent, a lady who has spent all the first half of the season contorting her visage into a spread of horrified feelings:

1) When Rhaenyra is speaking to her about Daeron and says, “ I might have spared him,” which is a heck of a factor to say to somebody after you simply decapitated their dad.

2) When she was with Helaena of their chambers and seen one thing that seemed suspiciously like a child bump below her daughter’s shirt.

Her eyes are gonna pop straight out of her head and roll round on the ground certainly one of today.

See, that is what I imply about Daemon needing a job. You need some gold? No drawback, he’ll swoop over to the Vale and get you some gold. Want to interact in a ruse to trick the Queen into believing another person hijacked a wild dragon and acquired her son killed? All good, simply let him roast some man together with his dragon actual fast and return to the fortress with an unrecognizable head to pin the blame on. Bingo bango, drawback solved.

Errrrr, perhaps not “solved.” That is perhaps a bit of sturdy, particularly with Rhaena nonetheless on the market terrorizing the Realm’s livestock on her dragon. I believe that’s the form of factor that may come up once more. Let’s go together with “drawback addressed.” However that’s a problem for Future Daemon, a person Present Daemon not often thinks about.

There’s “fallacious place, fallacious time,” after which there’s “minding your enterprise under the cave the place a father simply discovered his estranged daughter brought on the prince’s demise together with her unruly dragon and the aforementioned father concocts a plan to return dwelling with an unrelated charred head accountable.”

I’m giving him two factors. The man deserves… one thing.

Between all the showering and troop-quartering and c-word shouting, we discovered a number of issues about Ormund this week:

1) He’s been elevating Daeron for a few years and, with Aemond and Vhagar MIA, is now scheming up a plot to make the poor child king.

2) He’s an actual pompous weasel who doesn’t particularly love the concept of a lady in cost.

3) He has “a sensitivity to odors,” per Alicent, which is likely one of the funnier villain-related weaknesses.

It’s my perception that this final factoid will lead to him being undone by a odor so foul it renders him incapacitated. Name it Chekhov’s Stink.

I’m nonetheless very mad at him for killing Simon however I’m additionally, now, turning into very interested in what’s happening in that leaky fortress. The final time we noticed him, he was bleeding out and begging Alys for assist. Now, Vhagar is nowhere to be seen and Alys is slinking across the fortress answering gents callers and he’s mainly a ghost. The probabilities listed here are nearly limitless. I assume we’ll discover out quickly. No matter is going on, I simply hope Alys is having enjoyable.

He’s a candy boy.

Is… is Rhaena turning into a supervillain? She’s hiding out in a lair. She’s saying numerous issues about how she’s been missed and forgotten and is getting indignant about it. She’s altered her look considerably. She has a weapon of mass destruction that enables her to lastly really feel energy — or not less than management — over a world that by no means appeared to worth her.

If she begins cackling maniacally subsequent week, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Typically I overlook that Helaena is already a mom. One thing about her screams “little child” to me, whether or not it’s the harmless love of animals or the best way Alicent infants her. I feel that’s why, when Alicent went to assist her with the little scarf and seen what seemed to be a child bump, my first intuition was to shout “YOUNG LADY!” like I used to be her dad or one thing.

“Whose head was that?”

I’m going to be furious if/when one thing unhealthy occurs to her.

Aegon — I’m sorry, “Gregor” — is getting a sequence of classes in humility, between cleansing bogs and getting referred to as “Mangleface” and being compelled to kiss essentially the most disgusting shoe you’ve ever seen. A smart girl as soon as mentioned, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” however I don’t know if that applies to kissing gross footwear a pair days after discovering the stays of the one that you love dragon have been changed into a roadside attraction. Ask Kelly Clarkson in the event you see her.

This man’s simply throwing round pennies and lies to attempt to maintain Aegon alive lengthy sufficient that he can stay in a fortress once more. I guess, in the event you acquired Larys drunk sufficient to be a bit of sincere, he’d inform you he’s form of having a blast proper now.

To date this season, Corlys has:

— Nearly died— Watched his household dwelling burn down— Shouted loudly on the Queen who refused to legitimize his sons

To cite Jason Statham within the wildly underrated 2016 comedy Spy, “Typically a person must go to sea.”

When Alyn was speaking to Rhaenyra as she seemed on the mannequin metropolis, with the 2 of them bonding over coping with the legacy of a powerful however distant father, within the moments after Alyn half-jokingly prompt fixing the town’s rat drawback by introducing cats, a bit of voice in my head began whispering kissssssssssss.

I believe it’ll solely get louder.

Main his males on a demise mission as a result of he’s acquired nowhere to go if he’s not combating. I suppose I may discover a extra charitable strategy to characterize his actions this week. However, like, what’s the enjoyable in that?

Okay, return and watch the scene the place Alys informs Gwayne and Criston that Rhaenyra took King’s Touchdown. Pay shut consideration. Take a look at the face Gwayne makes in that second. It’s actually unimaginable. I’d watch it once more now.

The countdown to Ulf doing one thing extraordinarily silly continues, this week aided by Rhaenyra telling him he’s not allowed to go to taverns anymore. He’s going to pout and sulk and be a bit of boy about it after which, perhaps, he’s going to recollect he has a dragon and get an concept.

It’s not going to be a good suggestion.

Tick-boom… tick-boom… tick-boom…

ON ONE HAND: It’s form of good that Hugh needs to look at over Tumbletown on his dragon, realizing his spouse is there and the city is below siege.

ON THE OTHER HAND: I believe he’s going to see one other soldier make creepy eyes at her and burn down all the pieces in sight, which is… not supreme, diplomatically.

I actually loved that Orwyle, contemporary off retaining his title and again to offering counsel to Rhaenyra, kind of advocated for assassinating the Excessive Septon. I’m fascinated by him. Give me a bit of internet sequence that simply follows him across the fortress all day. I’m barely joking.

The excellent news for him is that he’s been elevated to the Small Council.

The unhealthy information for him is that Mysaria goes to eat him for lunch.

Checking in with Alys:

— Obtained to interrupt the information to Criston and Gwayne that Rhaenyra took King’s Touchdown— Might be hatching a secret plan involving Daemon and Vhagar— Seems to be having the time of her life

Alys is prospering. We like to see it.

All of us see the place that is going, sure? They launch a bunch of cats to regulate the rat inhabitants. The cats grow to be too highly effective, in order that they launch a bunch of canine to regulate the cats. The canine take over the town. One in every of them claims a dragon. Now we’ve acquired a canine hovering above the town on a winged hellbeast, refusing to cause with anybody and laying waste to all of his actual and perceived enemies. He’s savvy, too, this one. He is aware of easy methods to play the sport. The people round him proceed to flail and embarrass themselves, leaving the door ajar for a well-timed strike. Possibly his identify is Dodger and he has a bit of spot of black fur on his nostril. All hail King Dodger, First of His Identify.

It’s a slippery slope. That’s my level.

Mysaria: 25Alyn of Hull: 25Alicent Hightower: 25Alys the Witch: 23Helaena Targaryen: 23Hugh Hammer: 21Corlys “The Sea Snake” Velaryon: 20Rhaenyra Targaryen: 20Ulf the White: 18Daemon Targaryen: 17Grand Maester Orwyle: 17The Rats of King’s Touchdown: 17Addam of Hull: 15Larys Sturdy: 15Rhaena Targaryen: 15Baela Targaryen: 12Ormund Hightower: 11Ser Torrhen Manderly: 10Ser Simon Sturdy: 10Gwayne Hightower: 9Sylvi: 9Admiral Sharako Lohar: 9The One Man at Harrenhal Who Noticed a Large Hearth-Respiratory Dragon Swoop Towards the Fort and Reacted by Shouting “DRAGON”: 9Daeron Targaryen: 6The Excessive Septon: 5Aegon II Targaryen: 5Fake Daeron Targaryen: 4Otto Hightower: 2The Poor Shepherd Daemon Torched And Mentioned Was Sheepstealer’s Rider: 2 pointsJacaerys “Jace” Velaryon: 1Ser Lorent Marbrand: 1Lord Jasper: 0Ser Criston Cole: 0Aemond Targaryen: -100

This publish has been up to date to right the identify of Sheepstealer’s rider.

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